Learning the hard way ... but I then remember

I've learned so much from my mistakes that I think I'll make some more ...  hehehe

In fact I know I'll make a lot of mistakes and take missteps but what the heck, that is how I got here and  its better than staying stuck where I was because I was paralyzed by fear and terrified of change.

Fear ruins more dreams than everything else combined.  Fear will call up the critic and tell her that you are trying to break free and become you ... and they can't have that.  They want to keep you pregnant, barefoot, and back on the farm stuck in the mud where you belong.  Who do you think you are girl?  You think you can shine?  You think you can make a difference in the world?  Not if we have anything to say about it.  They will try to hog tie you ... and I'm here to tell you ... I'm here to help cut you loose and me too.

We are going to cross borders, break barriers, break with old traditions and patterns.  So pack a small bag with your favorite lucky charms, your medicine bag, a bottle of champagne (we'll need that for celebrating), and some changes of costumes because we'll definitely need those.

You and me are going to go places and I'm not telling you just yet but I'm packing my maps, compass, and my magic wand so we'll be ready for everything and anything.

Just click your heels together and repeat after me "You can't keep me down on the farm after I've seen the lights of the big city."  Take my hand ... we're starting now.

The Gifts of Mistakes

I was watching Oprah one day and Susan Sarandon was asked what she would tell her 20 year old self. Without hesitation she replied "Make lots of mistakes! You learn so much more from your mistakes." I don't think that was her exact quote but its very close.

I loved that! That definitely wasn't my mantra in life. The fear of making mistakes has held me back from so many experiences by yelling "NO" at them. NO, I can't do it unless I know from the very start what will happen and what the outcome will be. I need a written guarantee I will not be embarrassed, look foolish, lose something in the process, or not like the repercussions. NO, NO, NO. I must remain safe and feel that I am in control. I worried what other people would think about me. Many times I became a human chameleon to fit in or to be what other people wanted me to be, or expected me to be,

That is how I have lived a lot of life being paralyzed by fear and change. I am starting to play with the idea of no matter what happens I can deal with it.  This is a radical departure for me but I am ready to venture out in the world and take some chances and play differently.

I had heard the expression "The Universe never says NO" and didn't fully understand what it meant.  Well according to my simplistic version (to me it means) whatever we ask for with intention and expectation we will get it.  If we always go into things with a Plan B we are only hoping Plan A works but expecting to have to use Plan B, we will get Plan B.  Simple as that, the Universe said okay if thats what you want, its yours.

I had been feeling that the world was a hard place to survive and I wasn't feeling safe being in a body, on  this planet Earth.  And because that was my belief, that also was my result.  I am definitely moving away from that old way of thinking because it hasn't made my world a wonderful place to live.

I love the internet, it has changed my life by making so much information available instantly.  I can research anything, find my way to websites of people who have shared ideas that really impacted my life.  I take on line courses, seminars, sign up for newsletters and just keep learning.  

I really see a huge shift happening and people wanting to know themselves on a much deeper level, discover what they came here to do and how we can improve things and the way we live.  People want to be creative, productive, make contributions, help people, have fulfilling work, and feel connected.  

Consciousness is opening to a new way of thinking and living and its catching on.  Maybe we are finding the gifts of the mistakes of the past and learning from them.  Perhaps we are looking around ourselves and seeing new visions of what is possible and no long impossible.  There is great momentum and its time to catch to wave and go with the new paradigm.  

Thank the past, learn from it, and move on.   Living in the now is where it is all happening ... NOW not in the past and not in the future.  

Meeting with my Muse

I love it when my muse

appears unexpectedly 

in unlikely places

at inopportune times

smiling a knowing smile

Somedays the creativity flows

and somedays it’s so damned up

because I’m trying to control

and she won’t have that

don’t you know.  

My muse leans toward me

in her V neck black velvet gown

with slits up both sides, full length black gloves,

very spike heels, an exotic orchid pinned in her mane of hair

and a joint between her fiery red lips

Come on love, the fear’s 

only as real as you believe it is

You just remember that

you are an artist no matter 

what others think or say 

I wouldn’t waste my time 

if I thought you didn’t have it in you

You just have to lighten up

here try some of this ... 

oh my God ... I inhaled!!!

The painting is the vision and painter is the dreamer

bringing life from beyond the mist

let judgment go and just paint 

Thus saith your Muse. 

Go forth and create!

Trusting

Okay, I give up.
I have no idea
what lies ahead
in my life.

I only sense
that surrender
will show me
the next step.

Let me give up
my demands
my illusions
my insanity.

Trust in the silence
let my spiritual GPS
lead my life journey
to the next chapter.

Laundry day and other artful activities

I was thinking about what makes someone an artist?  I believe we are all artists in some form or fashion.  The way we dress, the style of the furnishings in our home, the way we present ourselves ... whether we're happy or unhappy.  We are always creating something.  We are creating our career, our friendships, our life stories.

We are always creating something.  What you think creates something ...

You get the idea.  I'm just saying ... I want to get more conscious about what I'm creating and maybe pay a bit more attention to what I'm saying to myself too.

Anyway need to finish laundry and get things together for dinner because I am going to make meatballs with lots of basil and carmelized onions.  Yum!  See?  I'm creating.

XOXO

My Wild Dream for the World

My wild dream is to include all women and girls into the circle of the divine feminine.  To share the joy of celebrating ourselves, our creativity, and the healing effect that art and writing have by embodying it and wearing it out into the world.  Expressing our truths and transforming the ordinary into the mythic and turning fears into opportunities.  To honor women through art and writing and circles which encircle the globe.

I have witnessed such transformation in myself since connecting with art and writing because I have begun contacting parts of myself that I had been disconnected from.  I am learning  to honor the feminine and see how strong, powerful, courageous, compassionate, gentle, fierce, loving, protective, unmovable yet flexible, the feminine is.  Much of this was generated through my contact with my muse and the canvas. 

At this point in my life I feel that the best is yet to come and it will only get better.   Almost a year ago online I met a woman who would change my life forever.  Shiloh Sophia McCloud was offering an on line painting class and I decided to sign up because I had never taken art classes and always wanted to learn to paint.  I felt safe because it was online and if I sucked at it no one but me would know.  I could hide and be safe AND take a risk and try something I really wanted to learn.

Now I have taken some more of her courses and joined Cosmic Cowgirls which Shiloh started and met her dedicated staff who are all about supporting women and changing their lives through art and the written word and they do!

I want to start putting my art out into the world which is a brave step for me.  A friend of mine asked me a long time ago what I wanted to do and I replied I wanted to write.  But I explained I felt that probably no one would care about what I had to say.  She vehemently told me that we never know what someone needs to hear and you might just have what they need to hear.  But your staying silent will never share your message and someone may be waiting to hear those very words.  

I know that when people are real and sharing how they feel or sharing about an uncomfortable situation, or something they felt ashamed of ... the honesty touches my heart and makes me feel connected.  I know that other people have the same things going on in their lives but so many people never share on that level because it makes them feel too vulnerable. 

My intention is to have this be a place of refuge from the outer world.  A place to come to be in contact with your artist self and explore new possibilities.  Bring your cup of coffee or tea or glass of wine and drink in the renewing feminine energy.  As this site evolves I will add links to some of my favorite people to share as well.

I know with art that some speaks to me and some doesn’t.  You may like my artwork and you may not and either way is fine.  Your art will be different from mine yet the process is the same as far as where we go to access it.

I am excited to be starting this journey and know that it will be about art, communication, community, sharing information and support.  It will continue to grow and expand and hopefully you will feel called to be part of this circle of women.

XOXO

Mary